It's My Room... But It's Not

Tim sighed staring up at the curling of his room. It was furnished exactly like his old room had been but it felt colder and more isolated than his room on his home Earth. He sighed, rolling over. He wanted to just curl into a ball and disappear back home. He was going to die here. He couldn't kill anyone. He could never break Bruce's code.

Never...

Kon had left his own room, his mind occupied by unpleasant thoughts. He was stuck in a world where Superman had died. And a different him had died as well. How was he supposed to survive? No. I can't think like that. he thought, shaking his head. The action caused the metal collar to rub uncomfortably against his skin. Blue eyes narrowed as his fingers touched the metal contraption that could very easily spell his doom. What was he to do?

A sigh left his mouth as Kon walked past a door. Only to back track as he read his friend's name on the plague. The Kyrptonian hybrid bit his lip for a moment before he lifted his hand up. With a deep breath, he knocked on the door. He only hoped Tim was in there. He seriously needed to be with the other. Tim was the only one that made him feel comfortable.

Tim heard a knock at the door, he would have a assumed people ere would just open the door. All they were was just entertainment for death matches. He rubbed his eyes. He was nt crying damn it!

"Come in." He said Ina normal toned voice, keeping himself in his curled position. He was fine being there if a Protector walked in. Maybe then they'd realize bringing him was a mistake.

Upon hearing permission, Kon felt his shoulders relax a little. He was glad the other was in. He didn't want to try and track Tim down in the big manor and risk running into someone else. He didn't do well around strangers. Opening the door, the kyrptonian hybrid walked in and looked about. Blue eyes spotted his dear friend lying on his bed, curled in like a ball.

A frown formed on his face at the sight, his eyes saddening as he closed the door behind him. "Hey." he said, standing still for a moment before walking over to the bed.

Tim knew the voice. Kon was in his room. He almost felt worse for acting like this compared to the perfect specimen in his room.

"Hey." was all he could think to say. He didn't turn to look at the other male as he wiped his eyes again. Those moments you knew you were going to die. Maybe that's what Jason felt.

No. No. No. He wasn't going there. Tim peeled off his mask and tossed it at the end of the bed as he undid his Red Robin belt and cape. He sat up, looking up to the Kryptonian like always. Perfection meet imperfection.

Kon frowned to himself as he watched Tim rub at his face before the other removed his mask. When the mask was gone, so was Kon's frown. He preferred when the other didn't have his mask. Though the other wasn't looking at him. At least not yet. Blue eyes watched as his best friend undid his utility belt and cape. As he watched, he couldn't help but notice how it was almost as if Tim refused to look at him. How his movements weren't quiet... Tim.

Tim... he thought, sadness filling in his chest. Finally, the other sat up and looked at him. Two sets of blue eyes met, and the sorrow in Kon's heart increased as he looked at the other. His friend was so clearly upset. One would have to be blind to not see it. But seeing it, well it was horrible. And all Kon could think of was that he wanted that look to go away. For Tim to not be miserable.

He did not have to ask what was wrong. The two knew each other long and well enough for the clone to know what was bothering him. Hell, he too was bothered by it all. To take a life, well it wasn't something that could be easily done. not for those who were meant to save lives. And Tim, he was raised to never take a life. What can I do, to make him better? Kon wondered, feeling useless. He wasn't very good in the comfort area. But- but didn't Tim do something to make him feel better after they first arrived?

Biting his bottom lip, Kon debated if he should repeat the action. If it was ok. Tim said it was what friends did. So... so it should be ok. With that thought, Kon got onto the bed and without a word wrapped his arms around the other.

Tim just let Kon's arms wrap around him. He twisted his face into Kon's chest. His body started to shake with his son.

"I'm going to die here." He said in between his sobs. He didn't want to die.

Sorrow filled his entire being as Kon felt Tim shake in his arms and sobs began to be made. His arms tightened the embrace, being careful not to make it too tight. As Tim spoke, Kon felt his blood run cold and his body stiffen. What?" he asked, shocked. What did Tim mean by that? Tim- Tim can't die. he just can't. he thought as buried his face into Tim's hair. "No you're not." he said quietly at last, becoming stubborn. He refused to accept the idea of his friend dying. Not in this hell hole. He couldn't go and leave him behind. He just couldn't.

"I... I can't kill... I'm... I'm going to die... There." Tim grabbed on to Kon's chest not feeling this least bit self-conscious. He just wanted Kon there to listen to h. He was giving up, at least Kon could hear the good bye from the horse's mouth.

Kon's eyes widened at the other's words while Tim grabbed hold of his shirt. That was right. The matches were battles to the death. If Tim was unable to kill.... he would be killed. No. Kon thought, a deep frown forming on his lips as he held tightly to the other. No. No No! a light growl formed in his throat as sorrow and anger filled his being. "No." he spoke aloud. His eyes were set with a determination as an angry blaze filled up inside him.

"No you can't die." he said, a stubborn and angry tone in his voice. "You can't just go and leave us all behind." he insisted. Can't go and leave me behind. He couldn't accept that. Wouldn't accept that. Kon began to grow angry at the very thought of being left behind.

"I... I don't want to... But I'll have no choice." Tim sobbed, his world felt darker than when his parents had died. He gasped in his sobbing trying to breathe. He couldn't find his breath and it scared him.

"Bullshit!" Kon snapped, his eyes all but glowing with the rising anger. "Even if you can't kill, you have a fucking choice." he growled out. He pulled out of the hug some, and brought one hand under Tim's chin, lifting it up for him to look the other in the eye. "We need to survive Tim!" he told the other, his eyes dead serious. "You- Don't think of it as killing. Think of it as surviving. Batman would want you to survive!" he insisted, his eyes looking desperate. He didn't want Tim to die. To leave him all alone. True he had his cousin, but he didn't feel as comfortable and accepted with her as he did with Tim. With Tim, it was different.

Blue eyes widened as he noticed that Tim was having trouble breathing. Panicking a little, he began to rub Tim's back as he tried to think of something. Anything. "Tim- Tim please." he said, his panic showing in his voice. "Tim you need to survive. Ok? You need to survive." He wrapped his arms around the other again, a desperate attempt to calm the other down, as well as himself.

"You're not alone in this." he said, closing his eyes tight as he buried his face in the other's hair. "You're not the only one conflicted in what to do. Nightwing, Kara, hell even me, we're stuck in this too. But we need to survive. For our friends back home. And for the heroes that fell before us." he said, his own arms shaking slightly. "We need to survive."

Tim had stopped stopped sobbing. His face and body conveyed how weak he felt. He stated at Kin's eyes, he was still shaking.

"Batman would disown me! He did it to Jason when he even thought Jason killed someone!" Tim let out a noise that conveyed his heartbreak. He didn't want to make Batman regret training him. He tried so desperately to impress. But Kon had a point, but people would live Kon and Kara no matter what. Dick and he were alobe in this. The world would turn on them the moment they ended someone's life.

Kon let out a frustrated sigh. Why didn't Tim get it!? This wasn't about killing someone. This was about survival. "And why did he think was the reason for Jason supposedly killed?" he asked, trying to make a point. "Justice? Revenge? Anger?" A single brow was lifted as Kon looked into the sad and terrified blue eyes. "Whatever the reason, that is why it was killing. But this- there at this place, we may be taking lives, but we aren't killers. We are doing what we can to survive. How could he possible condemn you for that?" he asked, searching into the other's eyes hoping to see the truth reaching the other.

"And if he's so fucking ignorant enough to blame you for choosing to live, then fuck him." he added, his breath becoming a bit ragged in his anger. "I'd rather have you alive Tim. Alive." The Boy of Steel placed his forehead against Tim's, staring deep into the blue eyes. "Can't you understand that?"

"I couldn't do it whether I wanted to or not. Survival or not." Tim voice broke through his statement as tears ran down his face with renewed vigor.

"Y-you don't know what it's like, having... having to know you're parents aren't coming home. What if they're a mother or a father? A brother or a sister? With a guy like me waiting for them to come home? I can't Kon--" His voice just gave up on him, he poured his emotional trauma to his best friend.

"I... I can't be the... the reason... some kid... never gets... to say good-bye... to their mom or... or dad... to their brother... o-or sister."

Kon's eyes softened before he sighed rubbed his hand up and down the boy's back. He could understand such thoughts, Tim- Tim had suffered through such experience. All the Robins had. As Tim mentioned how he had no idea what it was like, the kryptonian hybrid winced. That was, though unintentional, a low blow. "You're right. I don't understand. As a clone, I could never understand loosing parents." he said, his voice a little more bite than he intended.

"But didn't this world's Alfred say that we'll be fighting villains? People who've been locked up in every kind of jail and asylum known to man?" he asked. "If they had any family, well they've already been torn apart by their actions. These are the people who would never be able to see them alive or not." Kon's arms tightened the embrace as he let out another sigh. "These are the ones who wouldn't hesitate to end your life to keep their own." he added with a growl, anger at these unnamed opponents who were a threat to his friend's life.

"I just- I jsu tdon't want you to die Tim." he said, his voice braking a little.

"You're right. I don't understand. As a clone, I could never understand loosing parents."

Tim hadn't meant the words like Kon had taken them. He just stiffened, almost trying to get out of Kon's grip. He couldn't keep hurting people. Maybe he was better kept in this world to be chosen for the slaughter.

Tim's mind rolled with every word Kon spoke. It seemed like harsher hits but villains had children too. Even the super-bad ones. Deathstroke had Ravager while Two Face had Duella Dent. It didn't matter though, Kon wouldn't hear any of it. He felt the large male's arms wrap around him.

"I just-- I just don't want you to die Tim."

Tim felt his chest tighten. His heart would have soared just to hear those words in a less morbid way. Conner cared. Conner cared. Of course, Tim had already known it but this was different. It felt so different. Tim couldn't think of words to use to fight back. He just sat there, trembling in the perfect arms that held him.

Kon kept his hold on the other, not letting up even as the other stiffened. This is what friends are for. Tim said so. Kon thought to himself, becoming far to stubborn to even think of letting his friend go. As the other went quiet, not speaking a word against his claims, the kryptonian hybrid felt himself almost sigh with relief. Of course, it didn't mean the ex Boy Wonder agreed with him or was willing to survive. The trembling was proof of that.

Knowing this, Kon continued speaking. Anything to keep Tim alive. "Please Tim. Please live. Please survive." he asked, his voice filled with desperation and sadness. "I don't want to loose you." And he didn't. The very thought of loosing the other made his heart hurt. More so than the thought of superman dieing. He didn't quite know why this was so. But what he did know was that he would do whatever it took to keep it from happening. Biting his bottom lip, Kon closed his eyes and just held the other. He couldn't think of what else to say. So he settled for conveying his message through the embrace.

Tim took a breath, leaning on the Boy of Steel. His brain hurt, his eyes burned, and Kon's embrace burned his chest. But not in a bad way but it confused him. Tim's hands gripped tighter on his shirt, almost begging for the Kryptonian to not go. To never go.

"Kon..." Tim whispered out, just pulling Conner's shirt. He didn't know how it happened but his mouth interlocked with the large hero's mouth. He felt suddenly satisfied. Suddenly his heart didn't burn painfully.

At first, all was quiet. It was simply just Kon holding Tim while the other held onto him. But though it was quiet, there was little peace. The Boy of Steel felt pain in his chest as a thousand worries began to play in his mind. Most involving Tim. He did not wish for the other to die. However, there were so many bad things that could happen to his friend so long as they stayed on this Earth. Many from the other's own mind. I want to protect him from all that. Kon thought, wanting to be Tim's shield. Protect him from all the pain he was feeling and the horrors that awaited them both.

Upon hearing Tim whisper his name, Kon lifted his head to look at the other. The ex-Boy Wonder was pulling on his shirt and then suddenly... there were lips on his. Blue eyes widened before the sensation registered in his mind. As it occurred to him that Tim was kissing him, his pulse quickened and a heat filled his cheeks. But his eyes softened before closing entirely as he felt himself respond to the kiss, adding pressure back.

The pain in his chest lessened and a new sensation taken over. And all Kon could possibly think of then was, I'm kissing Tim.

Tim could feel his pulse pumping in his ears. Kon was responding. His thoughts fed him feeling Conner's lips moving against his own. He moved his lips against the Boy of Steel's lips. It felt so great, he could melt away. Become nothing more than Tim Drake. He didn't need to be scared of the future or the past or even the present.

Not as long as Kon was there.

Not as long as Kon was responding.

Electricity moved through his body as Kon continued kissing his best friend. Oddly, the clone saw nothing wrong with that, in fact could feel how right it was. As if he should have done it long ago. It's not like how it was with Cassie. he thought as his heart beat pulsed quick and loud. It sounded like Tim's was doing the same. It's so much better. he thought as he added a little more pressure into the kiss, one arm remaining in wrapping around the man while the other moved up to cradle Tim's head.

Tim felt the arms and the hand. He moved his body a bit, straddling Kon. His previous position had made the kiss awkward but with his new position it felt... easier. Tim could feel the blush burning onto his cheeks but he paid no mind to the fact he was kissing his best friend. Best friends could kiss right? Well, no but maybe... maybe Tim could hope. A new level of friendship reach? A mutual, wordless understanding of the other? Check. Lip locked and currently loving every moment of it? Check.

Maybe they were best friends with emotional baggage neither could get rid of. He was okay with that. More than he should've been. He parted his lips, gasping for air. He was only human after all and his lungs had started to burn.

Kon felt the added weight to lap, with his super strength gone it was a bit heavy. He was so focused on the kiss that it took him a moment to realize that it was Tim who had straddled him. They very thought caused his heart to skip a beat as a shiver of pleasure ran through his spine. In the back of his mind, he began to wonder if this was ok. Was it alright for boys to kiss? Well, Tim started it so it must be ok. he reasoned as ran his fingers through raven locks.

He knew that kissing wasn't something that friends did. It was a family and couples thing. The kiss he was sharing with Tim was too intimate to give to family... so did that mean they were a couple now? Cassie and i admitted to liking each other before we became a couple. And kissing came after. But then again, it didn't work out with her. Maybe it's ok to kiss as a way to start a relationship? he was still very new to the dating seen, so he couldn't be sure. But what he was sure about, was that he felt more amazing than he ever did with Cassie, and that since kissing was an intimate form of affection to have with a lover, he and Tim must be dating now.

As he came to that conclusion, the kiss was broken for much needed air. Blue eyes opened to see a flushed Tim who was breathing heavily. And Kon had to admit, the sight was very appealing. The kyrptonian hybrid unconsciously licked his lips before offering a smile to the other.

Tim's mind was abuzz with information. The kiss, the way Kon gave him a look. It wasn't just any look either. It was something that made him feel like a piece of meat, but not in a bad way. It made him feel wanted, needed, and there laid a desire in those blue eyes and that tongue that Tim watched dart to lick Kon's slowly reddening lips. He flushed more at the thought.

Friends didn't kiss. Friends didn't gaze at each other like this. Friends didn't look so... so fuckable as they held you. Okay, maybe the last one happened too often but it still made it on his list. Tim flushed an even harsher red when Conner actually smiled at him. He couldn't believe this was happening. They must have been worse then a woman on PMS.

First they were sad, the angry, then sad, then more anger, then kissing and -possibly- lust? Tim shivered he never dared to once look away from the orbs that kept his attention. They didn't need words to speak. Just thoughts.

What are we? He thought to himself, almost seeing the questioned mirrored to himself. It was almost violating to have been taught to read people like Batman could. But, he was sure at this point Conner would mind.

He hoped at least.