I'll Find All My Problems Solved at the Bottom of the Bottle

Tony ran his fingers through his hair before rubbing his chin. There wasn't facial hair anymore, the smooth texture of his skin felt oddly uncomfortable. He needed his beard back as soon as possible.

What possessed you to do that, Tony? It'll only end up in rejection.

Tony, for being a world renown genius, was quite stupid and moronic when it came to being subtle. He like flashes, bangs, explosions, and mindless self destruction. Mindlessly destroying himself was his favorite pass time, don't ya know?

Tony pulled at the hair in his head, hovering around Steven's room door. He swallowed, roughly. Why was he here? Steve never had an attraction to him. He had said everything out of not being able to stop himself after he finally received the only thing he ever wanted in his life. Something that he was sure his father would have been jealous of.

Steve's first kiss.

The kiss that destroyed Tony's resolve of never telling Steve about the dreams that left him wanting, the moments of making sure Steve lived no matter what happened, and the moments were Steve felt so alone and Tony made it a point to be there for the blond super soldier that was in the wrong time.

How could life had spiraled down so quickly for him?

Loki turned him into a girl, had tried to force himself (he had responded... until he knew he didn't want this from Loki, he wanted it from Steve so badly it hurt) on to his female self, getting a kiss from Steve that he'd never thought of getting, and then doing the stupid shit he had done now. He hadn't had a drink in a week, maybe it was time to see his old friend. He always seemed to think clearer while drinking from a bottle of whiskey or scotch.

Tony moved away from the door with a rough push. His mind reeling as he felt the familiar need for a drink take over. His throat wanted that all two ghost like of a burn. He had this place memorized from the first time he ordered Wally to get alcohol.

Down the hall, take a left, a right and then the Parlor loomed in from of him. He took a step in, feeling the weird silence that filled the room.

"Scotch, Tony, scotch." He mumbled to himself to make the silence feel like mechanical and awkward. He shuffled through cabinets, raising eyes at some of the labels. Expensive, luxurious bottles that were sure to knock the heaviest weight off his feet for at least a little while. He grabbed about three, praying he could stay drunk long enough to forget out how to somehow make his friendship with the homophobic Captain work.

Well, then again, Tony wasn't exactly gay. Bisexual was the more correct term or maybe even pansexual. He didn't care what it was really, just needed something warm in his body to feel the aching feeling left in his chest from the open, bleeding wounds from his childhood.

Geez, sound like a Soap Opera. He drawled out the thought, snatching the bottles and heading back the way he came. Right, left, halloway. Hover a bit in front of Captain fucking America's room before going in with about five bottles. He was amazed at the fact he could actually carry all of it.

The Iron Man dropped the bottle next to the couch as he, himself, jumped on the sofa and stretched while grabbing one bottle.

"To fucked up people." He mumbled for opening the bottle and chugging about a quarter of his. He coughed in response, the burn of the liquid was a lot stronger than he remember. It just meant high proof, more of a kick.

Meant getting drunk a hell of a lot faster.

Around a bottle in, the world felt lightly and a little blurry. His thoughts couldn't keep think for a moment but Extermis paused each one and sorted it into what he dubbed the 'Smartass' factory. Random thoughts seem to go there and fester than rot. He didn't open that area. It was full of broken promises and dreams that never happened. It held his parents' deaths and the thought of ever being truly normal.

He found himself wanting to relive Afghanistan then wanting to go to the Smart Ass factory. He opened the next bottle and killed it within minutes. Extermis was working over time and the hum in his mind was overly loud. The world felt like a blur as he let his eyes focus on the ceiling.

The ceiling wouldn't leave, it couldn't. It couldn't leave him like everyone else seemed to.

"I... ve....o... cei...ng." Tony mumbled out, killing off another quarter of the bottle. He couldn't find himself able to kill the rest of the bottle. Extermis screamed at him to stop, which was new.

Extermis didn't want him killing himself?

Sweet.

At least someone gave a shit.

Well, it wasn't even a someone. It was an it, but whatever.

At least something gave a shit.

Yeah, that sounded better.

Tony moved the bottle to his lips, shoving Extermis from his mind to help his liver or kidneys or whatever the fuck was affected by the alcohol. He shoved the rest of the liquid down his throat regretting only one thing.

Why the fuck did he always have to ruin anything good in his life?

The super soldier resisted the urge to run as he left the weight room and made his way down the halls back to where the bedrooms were located. Though his pace was much quicker, his face that of a man on a mission. And a man on a mission he was. His mission: to so seek out Tony and talk about this... thing that was going on between them.

The patriot got as far as the door to his room before he stopped. Blue eyes starred at the wooden door that was closed before him. It was both an obstacle and a shield. He could easily turn away, retreat to another place in the manor and avoid this situation all together.

But running away was never really his style.

With a deep breath, Steve reached out and enclosed his hand around the knob. He only hesitated a moment longer before he opened the door and stepped inside.

The blonde had never really taken the time to look into 'his' room before. It wasn't much different from Tony's, save for a few things here and there. But the room wasn't what needed his attention. Blue eyes looked about until they landed on the man that was being sought, lying down and starring up at the ceiling.

With a bottle in his hand and more around him.

Steve felt himself frown at the sight as he quietly closed the door behind him. Tony had gone and gotten himself drunk. Or was in the makings of getting drunk. Either way, disappointment was filling up inside the soldier quickly. With a quiet sigh, he folded his arms together. This was something that needed to change. If there's going to be anything between us, he needs to cut back on the drinking. Big time. he thought, his eyes saddening a bit before he decided to speak.

"So much for being sober." There was no mistaking the slight irritation and the sadness in his voice as he spoke. It wasn't exactly what he wanted to say when he showed up, but it was the first thing to slip out. It was going to be very difficult to talk to Tony about this if he was drunk.

"So much... for being drunk." Tony retorted, feeling his buzz slowly diminish. Buzz kill would be the more more appropriate term for Captain America. Obviously his brain was against him, like most of the world and then some. If he remembered correctly a few races of aliens hated him too. Let's not forget the hate.

"Oh come on,... Captain Buzz-Kill. ...Don't..." Tony paused in the middle of his sentence, sitting up. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. What was he trying to say again? The phrase was completely lost to him now. That was very, very irritating.

"Fuck it... forgot what I was going to say." The Iron Man said sourly while rolling his eyes. Then something slammed into his mind.

"I'm drinking... in honor of my dead beard! You know you miss it too! Look weird without it." His hand went to his chin, "I feel like a prepubescent kid." The man whined out, severely dodging any thing Steve might say about his current behavior. Then again, he was borderline drunk right now.

Damn Cap had really killed his buzz.

((Justkilledmenow))

Steve felt the frown deepen as the other spoke. His words were defiantly that of a dunk man's. A drunk man who wanted to keep on drinking for whatever reason and didn't want to be told otherwise. The patriot nearly sighed. But didn't, out of worry he'd never stop sighing.

Blue eyes watched the other sit up while Tony struggled to remember what he was even saying. He was defiantly drunk. Why do you do this Tony? he thought as his shoulders sagged a little. As the genius began to go on about the honor of his beard, the patriot felt his head shake before he walked away from the door and headed towards the bathroom. Though Steve also missed the facial hair, he didn't think it was reason enough to drink. "The beard may be gone, but at least you're a man again." he said as he walked into the bathroom.

He turned on the light and grabbed the cup he had by the sink before he filled it up with water. Once filled, he left the room and made his way to Tony's side. "Drink this." he said, placing it in one hand while his free one grabbed hold of the bottle. "We need to have a serious talk. And I'd like you to be sober for it." he said, his eyes softening.

"Please Tony."

"The beard may be gone, but at least you're a man again."

"Man? Sorry, Steven, you're the only guy that can look drop dead gorgeous without facial hair." Tony drawled out, almost unaware of what he was saying. Something in the back of his mind sent warnings to shut him up but tony didn't care. Psh, why should he? Might as well get the flirty-flirt on while he wasn't completely rejected yet.

"Drink this"

Tony made a sour face, staring at the cup.

"Uh-uh. Not touching that. I..." Tony let his voice trail off as Steve continued. Something about wanting to have a serious talk. The man tried, he really did, not to roll his eyes. He didn't do serious. Duh, everyone knew that. Everyone. He was the play-boy.

The suddenly nauseated playboy but still a playboy nonetheless.

"We need to have a serious talk. And I'd like you to be sober for it"

"If you want serious, go to Stark daddy dearest. Oh wait, he's dead." Tony spat out, gritting his teeth. It took him a minute to realize what he stated. He could be a mean drunk when he wanted to be. Though, he didn't feel the need to apologize. His father deserved the disrespect, to a point.

That's what the man received for ignoring everything in his life. Hot blonds that looked great in spandex didn't go for the rich guy with mental issues. Tony snorted at the thought.

Guess Howard and I are more alike than I think.

"Please Tony."

Tony mumbled out something before throwing his legs over the side of the sofa. Completely looking away. Steve's eyes could make him do just about anything. No, looking into them would only make him lose ground in this situation. His silence was answer enough about the drink.

Steve had to hold back yet another sigh at Tony's disgust at the cup of water. He was acting like a child being told to eat his vegetables.

"If you want serious, go to Stark daddy dearest. Oh wait, he's dead."

Blue eyes closed for a moment as Steve held himself from saying anything on that. Tony's father was always a touchy subject. And Steve wasn't here to talk about that Stark. He wasn't even here to argue. And yet it seemed like that was what was starting to brew. Opening his eyes again, he watched Tony look away and grumble under his breath. It was clear he wasn't going to drink the water.

Steve was starting to loose his patience.

"Tony- just- please. I don't want to fight about this. I want to talk. And it's important." His voice was a little on edge as he sat down the bottle he had taken from the other. "I want us to be able to talk about this with clear minds. And I hate it when you drink so much and get like this and- Damn it! This wasn't how I wanted to start this." Steve finally let out a sigh as he reached up to run his hand through his hair. His frustration was clear as he actually cussed.

"Tony- just- please. I don't want to fight about this. I want to talk. And it's important."

Tony didn't bother to look up. His foot kicked one of the two empty bottles on the ground. He didn't want the water. He never wanted the water.

"I want us to be able to talk about this with clear minds. And I hate it when you drink so much and get like this and- Damn it! This wasn't how I wanted to start this."

"You didn't start this, I did." Tony almost barked out a laugh as his back hit the sofa, still not looking at the Patriot. He couldn't look as see the anger and disappointment.

"Don't I always start everything? The arguments? The altercations? The problems? The everything that is inhumane and wrong in our little perfect lies. Did I say lies? I meant lives. But they equate to the same thing in the long run don't they, Steven?" Tony felt the holy buzz gone, Extermis had filtered out most of it. The down hill trek to sobriety. Great. Tony wanted to keep talking but severely did not trust where he would go.

Theoretically speaking throwing the thrusts on twenty percent power would...

Tony moved his hand to cover his eyes while pinching the bridge of his nose. Extermis was being a stupid little bastard. He'd rather not talk a jolly good dip through memory lane right now.

"You didn't start this, I did."

Steve brought his hand down to his neck as he looked at the other, who was laughing and leaning back on the couch. That hadn't been what he meant, but he made no means to correct it. No doubt Tony knew, but decided to bring the topic elsewhere. Trying to avoid the situation at hand.

"Don't I always start everything? The arguments? The altercations? The problems? The everything that is inhumane and wrong in our little perfect lies. Did I say lies? I meant lives. But they equate to the same thing in the long run don't they, Steven?"

The patriot nearly winced with how the other said his name and the accusations the man made about himself. Watching quietly, Steve waited. Blue eyes watched the hand cover the other pair of blue. He didn't like the way Tony was looking at that time. This miserable appearance and self-loathing. Steve didn't like it one bit.

"You may start somethings Tony. But not always. And I'd like to believe you start more good things than bad." he said quietly before taking in a deep breath. "Listen... this- what I'm about to say isn't very easy for me. And I'd like you to listen and- and know I'm being serious."

His hand left his neck and wrapped around the other. Nervously he rubbed them, looking down at them before looking back up at Tony. "When you told me all that back in your room, the confession and your feelings, I- it left a very big impact on me. An impact that left me confused. I couldn't think at all. And at the same time all I could do was think. Think of the words you said, the um.. kiss..." A flush filled his cheeks as he spoke of that. "And.. and how my heart couldn't stop racing."

Steve took a moment to gather his thoughts and breath. He didn't want to mess this up. "I never really felt quite like that before and it was confusing and strange. And I kept wondering just- just what did you do to me." The blonde man gave a small little smile before he lifted his hand again to run through his hair. "Went to go and try to clear my head. To go someplace to I could actually think and take it all in. And while I did that-" Steve paused, a small little frown on his face. He- he didn't really want to admit that he had to be told by a psychic, by Emma Frost, of what he felt. "While I tried to clear my mind. I was coming to some conclusions. Conclusions that scared me, to be honest. And I began to be in a conflict with myself." How did he go about talking about this?

"All my life, I've been one to do what was right and make people proud. Did my best to help my mother in my youth. Did well in school. Followed orders like any good soldier. Living up to expectations the World had for me- for Captain America. And- and I thought about who might be disappointed if I accepted this conclusion I was coming to. How the people who looked up to me might feel. How my parents would. Would they have been angry? Disappointed? Would they still care for me? Accept it if they thought it'd make me happy? It- It wasn't easy to think about." A small sigh left his lips before the man closed his eyes. He took just a moment to think about them again. Would- would they accept this choice he was about to make? He could only hope so.

"Or are you brave enough to try?"

The White Queen's words echoed in his mind as he reopened his eyes. "But I decided that- that I wasn't going to let such worries stop me from seeking a little happiness. To give it a shot." Did Tony understand what he was trying to say? He hoped so. This was hard for the patriot. And he had wanted this conversation to go better. More smoothly. Without the other being drunk and slowly sobering up thanks to Extermis.

"Because- you may be an argumentative, self-destructive, alcoholic with so many walls up and mood swings that keep people out, but I have feelings for you too and I- Tony I want to try." A hand reached out to touch lightly at the clean shaven face, blue eyes shining with truth and determination. "I want to try."

Tony just listened, for once. Just listened with his hand covering his face. What Steve was saying... totally crashed his pity party. If he had a heart that functioned properly? It might have sped up in it's beats per minute or maybe did that overly cheesy thing where it fluttered. Fluttering hearts weren't all that good though, Tony knew from experience. He'd be okay with the constant, stable beating thank you very much.

"Argumentative makes you think, self-destructive? Knowing your limits and throwing caution to the wind. And I have nothing to make my total abuse of liquor even delightful but it helps." Tony mumbled out moving his hand off his face when he felt something brushing against his face. He couldn't help but jump. Tony didn't get startled. But Steve being touchy? Well, that was... uh...

New? Well, Cap did like...

Tony, focus.

The Iron Man opened his eyes and tilted his head back to see Steve looking down at him.

"You're the God Damn Captain A-fucking-merica. I doubt you'll have to try." Tony stated, with a dash or mirth but still flat as a board.

"But... this is a confession, right?" Tony couldn't let the smirk wipe of his face after it was plastered there, "I'm unsure... you spoke a lot..." the man teased.

Steve gave out a tiny smile at Tony's argument to justify all the things the patriot listed him as. Well two of the three anyways. Of course he'd do that. he thought. Though he didn't feel any frustration at that. It was too Tony to be mad at. Especially when those blue eyes finally looked up at into his.

Though the patriot would have preferred to not have so many cuss words affiliated with his name, he was glad that Tony had some faith that this was possible.

"But... this is a confession, right?

Heat filled the man's face as a blush settled in. Tony was teasing him, he could tell. This thought proved more when he continued to talk. Suddenly feeling a bit more shy than when he started his big, life changing speech, Steve resisted the urge to fidget. "Yes.. this is a confession." he said, his blush darkening just a bit.

"And... and I would like it if we could be... I suppose the term is partners?" He wasn't entirely sure. Other than that was how Hulking had put it about his relationship with Wiccan. "Just- for us to be together." he concluded, looking at the other. His determination was still there, but it was mixed with a sense of shyness that never quite left him from the days of being a scrawny artist who spent his days making comics.

Tony just stared. Just stared. Steve blushing over something so... so real, he only wished the man was stuttering. He could care less about what the man was saying if it was putting Steve on the spot like this and make him so... vulnerable? No, wasn't vulnerable, well actually they both were. But this? This was... well...

Adorable.

He caught the words 'partners' and 'I would like if we could be.' Which just caused the man to raise his eyebrows.

"Partners means that we're committed for life, kinda like married I guess... since it's illegal in most states to have same sex marrige they, well I guess we, just use that word to mean like a spousal thing. I think the term you're fishing for is boyfriends?" Tony corrected the, most likely, still caught in the 1940s soldier from messing up on labeling him. He didn't want things to shoot to fast for the soldier. Scaring the blond off would suck. Majorly.

"Plus we're already partners in my book. We need something a bit more personal you think?" He said with a wink. Before blinking and knowing he was being coherent.

"Oh, damn, I'm totally not buzzed anymore. Damn, oh well, you blushing worse than a bride on her wedding day makes up for it."

As Tony corrected him on the right term to use, Steve felt his blush worsen. Leave it to him to mess that up. Not that I had much to look to on knowledge on this. Hulkling and Wiccan are the only gay couple I know. he thought. Before he could say anything, the other continued to speak. The results were inflamed cheeks that had no hopes of being put out.

He didn't mean it like that. he thought, as his mind began tot think Tony meant in the term of what he had described earlier. If it was, the man wouldn't have corrected him on it. He must mean partners in crime fighting. Or as a joke to what Peter always seems to call us. he thought, thinking back to the spider themed hero and his obsession in calling the two men Mom and Dad.

"Oh, damn, I'm totally not buzzed anymore. Damn, oh well, you blushing worse than a bride on her wedding day makes up for it."

"I am not blushing like a bride!" he said, embaressment filling up inside him. The blonde looked away then, his embaressment growing as well as displeasure at being called a bride. He wasn't pouting though. He wasn't.

"Anyways... boyfriends then." he spoke again, continuing the topic they were on. "But we move slow... ok?" he added, looking back at Tony, the embaressment gone and the shyness and unease coming. He was new to all this, and he didn't want to rush anything. "And um... can we keep this just between us?" he asked, rubbing the back of his neck. "Just for now! I'm still coming to terms with all this and, and i don't really want to deal with other people right now." Though someone already knew...

Tony just watched the ever changing mood of Steve. First embarrassed, then shy, the unsure, then just... Tony couldn't help but laugh. It was just... too Steve of a moment.

"'Course we can. Also, you should probably tell Wiccan I'm not the bad guy anymore. I just remembered him giving me the evil eye earlier as I ripped Loki from his clutches... and some chick in a Magician's outfit. Was weird." tony just shrugged, sometimes he had been asked for relationships to be under the table for reasons.

"But..." Tony added quickly, "when we get home I'm flaunting. Seriously, at least give me that." Tony whined out, blinking and seriously not pouting. He wasn't! He just... wanted to brag that he'd gotten Mister Purer than Fresh Snow as a playboy. Win, right?

He hoped.

He really hoped.

The blonde patriot was no sure how to take the sudden laughing. Just what was so funny? The man frowned a little, feeling as if he was being laughed at, Tony did have a tendency to laugh at/about things Steve didn't understand. With him not understanding being part of the joke.

But that line of thinking vanished when Tony agreed, followed by mentioning Wiccan. "He's here?" Steve asked, blinking. That was a little unexpected. Though he was glad to have another person he knew there, as well as someone to talk to about this when he got the nerve to, there was the unease that yet another hero of their universe was subjected to this gladiator battle to the death. I'm not even going to ask about the magician girl. he thought to himself, deciding he'd know what Tony meant when he'd see her.

"But... when we get home I'm flaunting. Seriously, at least give me that."

A flush filled his cheeks at that while a little bit of unease filled him. Would he- would he be ready for that when they got home? If we ever get home. Steve mentally shook his head. he shouldn't think like that. of course they would get back. They'd fight off these protectors and their bosses and make it home to protect their universe. Avenging those who had fallen before in the process.

And by then... well by then he should be fine with himself and his sexuality. Fine enough to allow Tony his 'flaunting' and let the world know they are together. "Alright." he said giving a small smile. And then Steve suddenly felt unsure of what to do next. He had just became... boyfriends with Tony. What was he supposed to do now? The super soldier tried to think of something, but he was coming up blank. Should I- should I hold his hand? he thought, heat in his cheeks. Perhaps he shouldn't feel so embarrassed and nervous about the concept, he did kiss the man earlier. Of course that was to help him turn back into a man...

It was still a kiss.

It's just holding his hand... he thought as he moved his hand out to grab the other's. It was warm and much larger than when he last held it as a woman's hand. It was Tony's actual hand.

"Alright."

Tony blinked, almost a bit shocked but quickly covered it with a smug look and a smirk. The look wiped off his face in an instant as surprise took a bit over him. His hand was being held.

Hand being held.

Being held.

Held.

Tony almost snapped his hand back to his body out of pure shock but decided against it. This was a very rare thing and he wasn't about to just... kill the moment because it startled him. But... something nagged at his mind.

"Sorry, about this. Well maybe not sorry but sorry for like just saying it. You would think someone like I would have more... couth when it comes to things like this... actually no. I wouldn't. I'm blunt. I like blunt and I'm pretty sure you appreciate the no sugar coating." Tony said with a shrug at the end. He wasn't sure, actually.

"...wait does this suddenly give more credibility to Peter calling us Mom and Dad?"

Steve stared in confusion as Tony began to apologize. Which, from the years he known the man, wasn't something the philanthropist did often. It was a bit strange, that was until the apology turned into a not really an apology. Which was more like Tony. So much so that the super soldier gave a tiny smile. And he had to admit, the billionaire was right. He did like Tony's bluntness. Well when it was called for anyways. He certainly appreciated the no sugar-coating when it came down to important things.

"...wait does this suddenly give more credibility to Peter calling us Mom and Dad?"

Heat filled Steve's cheeks at that, a deep flush quiet visible on his face as his mouth gaped a little. "Uh-" Just- just how was he supposed to answer that? I mean sure Peter's called us that for a long time. But it had always been a sort of joke. Tony and I would argue in a way that was deemed like a married couple. Not that I ever saw it like that. My parents never argued, at leas not like Tony and I.... and it was a joke.... So- So what? "I- um.."

Was there any credibility to it? Sure they were both leaders of the Avengers, and were now dating- but that only just now happened. "Um... perhaps?" he settled for, averting his eyes as he suddenly felt a bit foolish. Maybe that wasn't quite the right answer. After all, they certainly hadn't been together long enough to be going steady let along be whatever the Mom and Dad title implicated. If it implicated anything. Maybe it didn't?

This is confusing. Life was certainly more simply back in the forties.

Tony just watched Steve's face. He was glad Extermis was running at the time. He would remember the way the Captain blushed as he tried to think of the most logical thing in the situation. He could just bring himself to say, 'Dude it's just a joke. No need to seriously concider it.' but somewhere he really was dying to know if that could be something to look forward to when they returned him.

the Avengars being a family. Well, they were in a way but not really. But they were. Tony's mind was suddenly a buzz with thoughts that he could handle, not many people could. Paradox was probably the only way to describe his brain once it went onto territories like this.

"Uhm... perhaps."

The public vigilante raised an eyebrow at the statement before letting his hand run through his own messy hair. A smirk firmly plastered on his face.

"you over think things sometimes, Cap, and that's something coming from me. It's a joke, but nice to think it has a or could have a sentimental meaning." Flippant, keep flippant. He tried to sound like himself but it just wasn't working. Well "himself." The man he build himself to be. But what difference did it male? The blond had seen him at his worst and best.

Damn Marilyn Monroe for speaking true words.